Will Eat Chocolate Cake: Surviving the Post-Sickness Child

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Maybe this post should be entitled Am Eating Chocolate Cake, since I am currently forking into the chocolaty heaven as I type?

What can I say, I deserve it.

 It’s been a rough week.

My little girl has had a terrible cold for a week now. That’s five nights of trekking multiple times to her room in the night, and two nights with a combined total of four hours of sleep, none of it together. Add on the “my poor baby” factor (Mom’s suffer when their babies suffer.), you’ve got one mom who’s a little rough around the edges by the end of the week. Thankfully after a doctor visit, her runny-stuffy nose, cough, sore throat and crying–OH, THE CRYING–has lessened and she is on the road to recovery.

And that’s when things get tough.

When my baby is sick, I am a cuddly-let-me-hug-your-pain-away mom. Moms nurture and soothe; that’s what we do. However whenever my little girl begins to physically mend, I feel like I’m punished for it. I think she’s well enough for us to return to our normal routine. All that has really happened is that she now has the energy to animate the Spoiled Child of Frankenstein and demand in a beyond the grave, gravely voice, “Hold me.”

I’d created a monster.

A monster that is currently sitting beside me in her highchair throwing Goldfish crackers at me.

Every time my girl has a sickness spell, we always have one day directly after that I call THE FIT DAY. My well behaved angle is suddenly a tiny hell on wheels.

“Do you want a cracker?’

“No!”

“Please, don’t kick your highchair.”

*Kicking continues and screaming is added for affect.*

“Don’t throw your Elmo at the pastor!”

*Pastor gets a face-full of Elmo and Abbey.*

And then random bloody-murder screams for no apparent reason.

If we both can survive the day, the next day it will be as if nothing has happened. So I’ve compiled a list of tips on how to survive The Fit Day. Maybe they can help you survive your own baby apocalypse in the future.

How to Survive Fit Day

1.       It’s coming. Running is futile.
2.       Say no…and keep saying no.
3.       It’s okay if they cry.
4.       Close your eyes and count to a million.
5.       They are probably still sick some, so if they get too worked up they may still need some extra soothing.
6.       It’s okay if YOU cry.
7.       Keep an even, firm voice. Yelling will just upset IT more.
8.       Repeat: “I’m a good mom. I’m a good mom.”
9.       Try to enjoy being needed. They won’t be this size forever, and I don’t think they’ll appreciate having you cuddle them on your lap when they’re thirty.

And lastly…

10.   EAT CHOCOLATE CAKE.

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